Yes! 11 months into parenthood and this really resonates for me. I am lucky to have a substantial amount of help from my mother-in-law, and I remember thinking that if I didn’t, I would have leaned on my friends more early on, which might have developed stronger ties between us and them, and them and my baby. But I didn’t need to, so I didn’t, and I think I potentially missed out on something. Now that I’m past the crisis-like feeling of brand new parenthood, I try to keep this all in mind when my friends ask if they can do anything to help when my kid gets sick, or I’m overwhelmed.
I love this, Mandy. Especially the idea that “a request for help is a step toward community.”
A related read, though focused more on domestic workers from marginalized communities abroad, is Megan K. Stack’s book Women’s Work: A Reckoning Wirh Work and Home. I highly recommend it, in part because Stack also grapples with her identity as a writer, and details her challenge of trying to complete a novel after having kids.
I adore this! I have always had difficulty asking for help, I think because my parents raised me to be a self-reliant only child. It made it very hard, almost unthinkable, to ask for help when I needed to leave an unsafe relationship. Thankfully as soon as I told my close friends that I was struggling, they offered the help I didn't know I needed: homes to stay in, adventures to plan together, surprise Venmo gifts so I could order delivery dinner. It was an eye-opening experience that has made me much more grateful and proactive about showing up for my loved ones.
I love this humble and honest wading into a difficult conversation for many parents. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm interested to hear more about your explorations into community here as you progress into motherhood. Voices like yours are needed for us tired and often overworked mamas.
Yes! 11 months into parenthood and this really resonates for me. I am lucky to have a substantial amount of help from my mother-in-law, and I remember thinking that if I didn’t, I would have leaned on my friends more early on, which might have developed stronger ties between us and them, and them and my baby. But I didn’t need to, so I didn’t, and I think I potentially missed out on something. Now that I’m past the crisis-like feeling of brand new parenthood, I try to keep this all in mind when my friends ask if they can do anything to help when my kid gets sick, or I’m overwhelmed.
I love this, Mandy. Especially the idea that “a request for help is a step toward community.”
A related read, though focused more on domestic workers from marginalized communities abroad, is Megan K. Stack’s book Women’s Work: A Reckoning Wirh Work and Home. I highly recommend it, in part because Stack also grapples with her identity as a writer, and details her challenge of trying to complete a novel after having kids.
Thanks, as always, for sharing your work!
I adore this! I have always had difficulty asking for help, I think because my parents raised me to be a self-reliant only child. It made it very hard, almost unthinkable, to ask for help when I needed to leave an unsafe relationship. Thankfully as soon as I told my close friends that I was struggling, they offered the help I didn't know I needed: homes to stay in, adventures to plan together, surprise Venmo gifts so I could order delivery dinner. It was an eye-opening experience that has made me much more grateful and proactive about showing up for my loved ones.
I love this humble and honest wading into a difficult conversation for many parents. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm interested to hear more about your explorations into community here as you progress into motherhood. Voices like yours are needed for us tired and often overworked mamas.