An essay on scarcity and abundance and, in the words of Ross Gay, becoming unfixed.
YES. My institution also doles out merit, making us compete with each other, while underpaying sessional lecturers. Your piece has me wonder about ways I could redistribute any merit pay I'm "lucky" enough to get to my sessional colleagues--without condescension or weirdness, you know, but not just as a symbolic gesture, either? Becoming unfixed.
(I love Gay's book, too.)
Wow, I can see why it's getting you down. A raise should be them recognizing you, not to having to prove it yourself from what you've done. And people should be able to get raises from working hard within their job description, not just for extra work - especially with all the work educators already do! Ugh. So gross. I'm glad you can recognize it and try to shift your mindset away from it.
Bravo, Mandy! Everything you said. I offer no resolution. Knowing is a first step. It spreads, somehow. Things brought up so long ago and get re-branded, to use a word I dislike -- systems that always failed that get used again and again with new names. The fact that you and others do the things that can't be quantified, that's what's always vital.
I wonder what your take on unschooling would be. Thanks for a thoughtful read.
I read each word here, and remember exactly what it was like--in a Dickens' novel, at the rag and bones shop, pawing over... ugh. Strength to you! I am so glad to have walked away. (Powers that be say "She's retired!" But no, I walked away.)